nurulmuna yem nurul muna yem nurulmunayem
nurulmuna yem nurul muna yem nurulmunayem

01 June 2016

It is incomprehensible how fathers love their children. My dad, trusts me to be one of his child that will always follow his lead. I did not see myself as what he'd visioned but look where I am now. I'm just still that same girl, I rebelled a lot, silently, of course. But he, he always, always have something to fill his time with. To provide for his family. To serve his God. To repay the government. To teach his nation. Those are all his responsibilities, that he is very proud of. I can't see myself anywhere near his achievements. He is not in his best of health, currently. And I can see how he yearns to return to his routine of fulfilling his responsibilities. He's crying and I'm not there. And my tears have dried I don't know what to do, I can't call - he won't answer he's in pain, I can only pray and pray for good news. I want everybody to know that my mind isn't here even though my body is. But I just can't, because I'm pretentious and selfish like that. There's not much that they can say to calm me down, I've tried. No one would ever understand except Allah. I'll tie these weights on His ropes, knowing He knows what to do it, He gave it to me, He wants me to handle it. Oh Allah, from you I mustered this strength, and from Your strength, I'm asking for your forgiveness, for I am weak.