nurulmuna yem nurul muna yem nurulmunayem
nurulmuna yem nurul muna yem nurulmunayem

11 June 2016

Ukhuwwah is addictive - Syahira Idrus, 2016

These are all people that makes Wellington my home.

My classmates, my TESL mates, my housemates, my usrahmates (present and past), and friends. Friends who makes everything easier, who never ceases to say "how are you?", not knowing how much it means when it is never not hard being 5500 miles away from your family. Crying with them when we hit rock bottom, when their loved ones passed away, when the assignment is killing us, when the readings are difficult, when you can't seem to leave jahiliyyah, when it is just so easy to fall and be knocked down. But I made it, I managed, because of them. 

Yes all are girls sebab I don't friend boys hahaha because they're so boring (no homo).
Lol nah, I'm just not used to.

May Allah protect these girls, and it doesn't matter whether if we're close or not, because we share the same struggle, the same problems, the same dream. To gain something here, and to return home being someone completely different and useful to the community, to our nation, to the ummah. 

And to my dear akhawats, from all three jemaahs that I used to join. I cannot express how much it means to me when all of you spend a lot of time, money, and emotion to bring me back to Allah. Trust me, apart from the jemaah that I am in now, I know that you guys are part of the asbab in making me leaving my jahiliyyah. That is such a big deed, and you are all such great inspirations. Jazakumullahu khairan kathira wa jazakumullahu ahsanal jaza khairan, Fatin Ilyana, Intan Asirah Darwis, Halimahtul Syifa, Siti Nor Aisyah Razali, and my comrades in these usrahs. How will I ever be like you? Pray for me, whenever I came across your thoughts, if ever. I know that despite our differences, we share the same fight, the same aspirations, and the same want: to see Islam rise again and to relight the glory of Islam and Muslims. To fight our past, to become a better Muslim, to serve the ummah, to bring Muhammad SAW's messages across the world. May we meet again in the fight where no jemaah will differentiate us, and may Allah ease everything for us. I know I am not good in showing people how I feel, how I appreciate them, and I am trying so hard to change that. But know that I truly, sincerely love all of you for Allah. No matter what, I'll pray for your steadfastness in the route of Dakwah and Tarbiyyah.

To my loveliest, strongest, awesomest usrati, haa buat ape tu. Haha. I love you girls too much, too much to even explain how. You girls had taught me a lot, I've learned so much from each and every one of you. Certainly I cannot thank you enough for creating the wonderful biah solehah ♡ May we always always find Allah in whatever we do, may we strive to leave our comfort zones with the purpose of benefitting the ummah. Uhibbukum fillah. We still have a long way to go, but our time together is short. It's sad to think that you will leave 6 months earlier than I will. What am I gonna dooooo 😢😢😢 In the meantime, I'll always find the excuse and time to be with you girls.

Ukhuwwah, truly is addictive.

Hence, Sya is right.
Happy Birthday Sya.
Uhibbuki Fillah <3

01 June 2016

It is incomprehensible how fathers love their children. My dad, trusts me to be one of his child that will always follow his lead. I did not see myself as what he'd visioned but look where I am now. I'm just still that same girl, I rebelled a lot, silently, of course. But he, he always, always have something to fill his time with. To provide for his family. To serve his God. To repay the government. To teach his nation. Those are all his responsibilities, that he is very proud of. I can't see myself anywhere near his achievements. He is not in his best of health, currently. And I can see how he yearns to return to his routine of fulfilling his responsibilities. He's crying and I'm not there. And my tears have dried I don't know what to do, I can't call - he won't answer he's in pain, I can only pray and pray for good news. I want everybody to know that my mind isn't here even though my body is. But I just can't, because I'm pretentious and selfish like that. There's not much that they can say to calm me down, I've tried. No one would ever understand except Allah. I'll tie these weights on His ropes, knowing He knows what to do it, He gave it to me, He wants me to handle it. Oh Allah, from you I mustered this strength, and from Your strength, I'm asking for your forgiveness, for I am weak.